Digital vs In-Person Church: The Real Problem

This article originally appeared on  Sarah Kinzer's Blog . 

People are leaving the church.

Studies show it.
Pastors grieve it.
People judge it.

People are leaving the church.

And as with any problem that has faced the church since her birth, those who comment on it are looking for where to place the blame.

When the pandemic happened there was a surge in realization that the internet could be used as a tool to keep people connected. It was a miracle! When other plagues had come for humanity, people were much worse off, because they didn’t have the internet. Lucky us!

However, as time wore on and the siren song of structure sang out, online church didn’t just lose it’s appeal, it became a scapegoat. We’ve reopened the doors. If people don’t return it must be because they’ve become lazy, satisfied with a video version of faith. They are sacrificing community for convenience. It’s them, not us.

I’ve spent countless hours talking with people about digital church both for the Pocket Pulpit and as a matter of interest. I have looked and looked at what could be found in Scripture to address the topic. I’ve built friendships that developed online that I had the blessing to carry into in-person experiences and then return to their previous digital state.

I have come to one conclusion and I say this with all the conviction within me…

The enemy of incarnate worship isn’t digital church.
The enemy of incarnate worship is the idol named False.

People are leaving the church, but they aren’t leaving because they prefer pjs to pews. They are leaving because the church is increasingly being perceived as being False.

Case after case of high profile Christians and large denominations involved in and covering up abuse and scandal. Flying drummers and copywright-be-damned Jesus versions of Hamilton. On any given social media app you can find the message communicated in the platform’s preferred style which says, “The church taught me about a Jesus who cares about the poor, the sick, the broken, the outcast, the foreigner…but showed me a people who didn’t do any of those things.”

People are tired of False.

It is correct that using online tools, people can create false idols exceedingly quickly and well. It is correct that shaping a service in the image of a production is not worship. It is correct that we are made to crave community.

It is incorrect that digital church is contrary to incarnate worship or community or the work of the church.

Consider the following.

We all understand the inherent risks associated with online tools. Their addictive nature and the silent persuasiveness of the algorithm are absolutely something to be treated with caution, concern and care. This has caused some to call for a blanket ban of social media and to urge the church to take a stand against it.

We recognize that there are risks associated with many tools.

A hammer which drives a nail may also strike a thumb.
A book which passes deep knowledge may also slice open the reader’s skin.
A pillow which provides sweet comfort may also smother an infant in a crib.
A car which transports us to in person worship may also spin off the road, strike a tree and kill everyone inside.

We do not abandon a tool because it has created harm. We learn to use it properly. We tailor the circumstances where it may be appropriately used. We place warning labels on it so others may be safe. We create restrictions and licenses so that we may regulate its use in our society. We raise our children to use the tool safely.

In Paul’s letter to Titus, he writes, “To the pure all things are pure, but to the corrupt and unbelieving nothing is pure; their very minds and consciences are corrupted.” Paul points to the division created by those who pushed circumcision as sign of not being like the Cretans, who described as beasts and thought of as less than human. The goal was not to be more like Christ, but rather less like Cretans.

Paul continues in this letter to encourage Titus to “teach what is consistent with sound instruction.” He speaks of the responsibility of the believers in Crete to conduct themselves at a higher standard when engaging in the culture around them and in relationship with one another. This is the heart of the matter. Paul did not advise Titus to draw his people inward, away from the corrupting influence of the Cretens. Rather, Paul instructed Titus to guide the believers well as they engaged in that culture, so that those in that area might see and desire Christ.

When the church fixates on the risks of social media, encouraging people to run from the risks rather than learn how to engage well and improve the media, they present the narrative that the work of being Christlike is avoidance, not perfection!

This is neither the message of the gospel, nor is it the practice of our lives in nearly any other risk associated activity. As we devolve into legalistic arguments we, just like those Paul warned Titus about, create division and present a false depiction of how a Christian is to live.

We appear to be hypocrites drawing circles around this activity or that, swayed by the next popular thing we choose to oppose. All the while the church in America is perceived as turning a blind eye to many more illicit, dangerous and vile ills being permitted and perpetrated inside the in-person walls of the church. As we present a false depiction of Christ-likeness, the watching world shakes their head at the church.

It is the responsibility of the people using the tools and the society governing the usage to set appropriate boundaries and train her people how to use tools well. The church should be learning how to use social media wisely and how to use the algorithm to impact positive pervasive change.

A true representation of Christ is the best witness we can have.

In 2007 a show premiered called The Guild. This show was about a group of online gamers who formed relationships and become involved at different levels in one anothers’ lives. The idea that people are connecting online was presented as a given, something that the viewer just accepted as fact. This understood concept has only gained acceptance as social media and gaming have grown and as the world experienced a pandemic which forced many people to seek connection online.

This goes far beyond a casual connection. I have met several people in the past few years who struggled deeply with depression. I know people personally who would not be alive today if not for someone online. They posted something that caught the attention of others who checked on them. Or they were in the middle of a crisis with suicidal ideation and the only people available to them were on social media.

When someone declares that online relationships aren’t real, what does that say to someone who credits their life being saved to an online friend?

When a church says that relationships are best developed in-person, but that same church did not reach out to them when they were in lockdown, and yet a stranger online did reach out, what does that communicate?

These kind of messages speak to a real lack of emotional intelligence. Relationships are formed by the presence of attention and affection, not the presence of flesh and bone. A physical body will never substitute for sincerity.

I am reminded of what Paul writes in Romans 12, “Let love be genuine; hate what is evil; hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor. Do not lag in zeal; be ardent in spirit; serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; persevere in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints; pursue hospitality to strangers.”

Paul instructs the church on how we might relate to one another. His instruction is not about how to be near to one another physically, rather he speaks to the heart of relationships. Be genuine. Good. Love each other. Honor one another. Rejoice. Be patient. Pray. Make sure people have enough.

All of these things can be accomplished up close or at a distance. In fact, one might argue that where relationships exist and these attributes are absent, the physical presence of the other is acutely painful. In that circumstance as reconciliation is sought, rarely is the goal to get two people to be near one another. It is that they would be right with one another, heart to heart.

When people give reason for why they’ve left a church or left the Church, one of the top responses is broken relationships. Christians are describe as hypocrites. The welcome that is extended at church is shallow. Love is conditional.

This is the root of the relational problems facing the Church today. It is not that people are being bought by online relationships which are not real. It is that people are perceiving the relationships offered by the Church as false and untrustworthy.

Worship in truth.
Truly imitate Christ.
Let love be truthful.
These are the ways forward.

It is no longer enough to identify the latest cultural trend to oppose.

Church, we must be willing to turn our gaze inward and ask, “Is there any unright way in me?” We have a promise from the One we serve, “When the Advocate comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who comes from the Father, he will testify on my behalf.”

When we throw off false worship, false Christlike-ness and false relationships, we will not find the correct stance on social media.

We will find Christ.

Share what you have experienced and what are some solutions are below or on social media. Make sure you tag Sarah Kinzer to keep the conversation going. 

Through the Digital Church Network we are helping physical and digital churches better understand the discipleship process, and helping churches and church planters understand this and other decentralized mindset shifts. Joining the DCN is free and be encouraged!